A Question For Our Leader David Cameron.

Dear David,

I have been trying to catch your attention for over a year now, to tell you about my free on-line life coaching course, Venus Cow  written to inspire  anyone with addiction, weight, debt and lifestyle problems, encouraging them to take back control of their lives. This important work is part of a social enterprise and was developed by collaborating with big financial business and university students who believed in its benefits enough to offer their skills for free and services.

I put together the free Common Sense life coaching course content to help anyone,  for free, work with a personal life coach, at home, on-line, in order to gain life skills, face the brutal truth reality about the state of their health and misery. As well as motivate them to change. The Venus Cow personal journal is a perfect tool to create a private place where behaviour, mistakes and achievements can be tracked and monitored by the user.

The reason I am passionate about offering free help to the Nation is simple and my purpose now, after a life changing experience that forced me to study my own behaviour, addictions and misery, resulting in valuable insight, I am compelled to share because it works.

I have studied human behaviour and status anxiety across the UK and my conclusions are alarming and must be addressed in order to save the Country from slowly sliding into unsustainable debt, out of control obesity, alcoholism, addictions and early death.  My research reveals questionable morals and business practices of consumer driven businesses, like the media, TV and retail, all responsible for irresponsibly creating a treadmill template  directing us how we should live our lives, in order to be happy. Christmas is a perfect example of how these businesses drive unsustainable, irresponsible and subliminal mixed messages to the Nation, two months before December 25th, to shop, eat, spend, consume, go in to debt for , with no escape or balance. In December this year it was reported 60% of British families had to take out pay day loans to pay for it and more than half the Country pilled on extra pounds, on already unhealthy, sick bodies.

Once the frenzy fizzles ends and January the 1^st rolls up, the whole mood and message changes and instead of spend, eat, drink, shop till you drop, we are plunged in to despair and told to diet, eat healthily, save money, give up drinking, smoking, until it’s time to book another holiday. This kind of Yo Yo behaviour is why the UK is not getting better, constantly creating a society of miserable, sick people, forever fat and in debt. The pattern behaviour has to change in order for the pattern to change. To cure the problem, you have to understand the cause. Where was the balance, the governments “change for life” message, when people needed it the most this Christmas? Why did no one remind the Nation, when one in four is severely overweight and more than half drowning in unmanageable debt, to eat healthy and live within their means? It is criminal in my opinion that big businesses, like supermarkets, television companies, retail brands who lie, don’t pay taxes and unethical print media, are getting obscenely richer by destroying and exploiting skill-less, aspiration hungry, lost sheep.

I think it’s time to take a serious look at our “ want it now” without doing the work culture and recognise if we don’t keep the messages consistent and responsible, the truth,  things can only get worse for you as our leader.

Free life coaching on a mass level is so needed right now, so please get on board and help me get Venus Cow out there for everyone to benefit from.

The Tree Of Life

Understanding why we are unhappy, confused, depressed, unsatisfied as we get older, is the key to being able to make peace with ourselves, allowing us to never blame, compare or judge others but define who we really are as individuals. Life is a journey but most of us get stuck in a pattern we pick up and learn by modelling on the behaviours and traditions of our parents. It’s amazing how many people copy the family tradition of Christmas then pass it down the generations, even though half the time it’s not what they would like to be doing or can afford to do. If your memory as a child of Christmas is all about having a terrible time, chances are you will over compensate when you have your own kids by going over the top and creating a monster you have to keep up forever, otherwise they get disappointed.

Coping and modelling on others is all we have when we are children as we become fused into the same emotions. What we copy eventually becomes our own template for life when we get older but this template belongs to someone else, so very often makes us miserable and unsatisfied with our own life. I watched an amazing movie the other evening called The Tree Of Life by Terrence Malick. This film is the perfect example of what conflicting contradictory messages children learn about life from their parents and how these behaviours impact and mould the pathway for their future. If you tell your child to not put his elbows on the table when eating, yet you are doing this exact behaviour when delivering the message, the child will always question why for you its ok to do but not for them.

If we are to be happy and successful in life we have to learn skills as early as possible, not copy bad behaviour and habits of others. Getting ourselves into massive debt to out do a Christmas you cannot really afford, just because that’s what you have always done, is not passing on truth to your children. If you cannot afford to have a big over the top celebration, don’t feel bad or left out, do something completely new like volunteer to help feed the homeless or old people who are alone. Christmas is not about money, gifts, over indulging, getting pissed, getting into debt, its about having a rest and enjoying time with family and friends, something money can never buy.

When I had everything materially I would always buy my way back into the family fold at Christmas by going over the top with expensive presents. I was always passing through on the way to somewhere hot and exotic so never had the time to give to them. These days as I get older and wiser I understand that money is a means to an end and nothing is more valuable than giving my time. We never know when those we love will not be around anymore so now I am in awe at the mysterious inevitability of loving, and losing those we love.

How To Be Happy Without Money

Embarking on a budget lifestyle plan is all about learning how to be happy living within your means and not off high interest credit cards or loans. If you spend your life paying for stuff you cannot afford, just because that’s what is expected of you or because everyone else does it, you will never be rich or happy. You may find the idea of an instant money fix quite a relief when thing are getting you down but if you stop and really think about what impact that quick fix will have on your life in the future, when it comes to paying it back, you will avoid being tempted at all costs.

A pay day loan or a short term high interest loan to help you through a financial crisis can sometimes be the only route, especially for those who need help with medical problems and additional costs. A recent survey for the charity CLIC Sargent found families can struggle to meet the extra cost of accommodation, childcare, food and travel, which is such a sad state of affairs but very real in this current financial mess we all find ourselves in right now.

To be truly happy, you have to take money out of the equation and feed your soul, not your addiction because you may believe you need a new sofa, top of the range TV or luxury 5 star holiday to be somebody but you would be very wrong. Life is about striving for the simple things like good health, inner peace, lots of laughter and not being sucked into the idea, what your own, makes you who you are.

Its all well and good saying this to you because I am sure you all feel trapped and pressured in to participating in keeping up with the Hiltons, the new Jones but you have to grow up and get real. Living beyond your means will only leave you miserable and buried under a mountain of unnecessary debt. There is absolutely no point in having a 100 pair of designer shoes if you never have the money to go anywhere to wear them.

So learning to live within your means may not sound very exciting, be what you want to face right now or be what you have become accustomed to but it is essential if you are ever to find inner happiness. I have had many times myself when I have longed for a new life with all the trappings to go with it but then I remember back to when I thought I had it all and have to remind myself, it was not money or the flash lifestyle that made me truly happy inside.

Here are some simple ways you can begin to learn to live within your means and start to face your reality, which if you are healthy and strong, is a blessing on its own and something we all take for granted, so be grateful, I say.  

Save up for what you want.

Buying unnecessary stuff, like another top you won’t wear or another bottle of wine, you don’t need because you have already had to much, is a great way to save cash for a rainy day. Try and put aside something each week you would normally spend on an instant fix and learn to change your bad habits into good ones.

Stop relying on your credit cards.

Using credit cards to get by, is not living within your means, so never include your credit cards when planning or budgeting your finances because these cards can be stopped or maxed out very easily, without warning.

Learn to spend less than you make.

When we use our credit cards to purchase stuff, we don’t feel like we are actually spending real money because we don’t physically see it changing hands, it’s a virtual exchange. I strongly suggest from now on you only work with real cash when you are learning to live within your means, you will be so shocked at how far your money actually goes when you are in control. Once you know how much you make, then you can focus on bringing you’re spending within your income. Use a budget to plan your monthly expenses then use it to keep your spending on track.

Boost your income.

If once you have done your budget lifestyle plan and you are living within your means but still long for an instant fix, recognise in order to get what you think you want you have to be able to afford it, so get a little second job or find another way to earn extra cash for extra luxuries.

Life is not always about getting what you want but getting what you need.