The Tree Of Life

Understanding why we are unhappy, confused, depressed, unsatisfied as we get older, is the key to being able to make peace with ourselves, allowing us to never blame, compare or judge others but define who we really are as individuals. Life is a journey but most of us get stuck in a pattern we pick up and learn by modelling on the behaviours and traditions of our parents. It’s amazing how many people copy the family tradition of Christmas then pass it down the generations, even though half the time it’s not what they would like to be doing or can afford to do. If your memory as a child of Christmas is all about having a terrible time, chances are you will over compensate when you have your own kids by going over the top and creating a monster you have to keep up forever, otherwise they get disappointed.

Coping and modelling on others is all we have when we are children as we become fused into the same emotions. What we copy eventually becomes our own template for life when we get older but this template belongs to someone else, so very often makes us miserable and unsatisfied with our own life. I watched an amazing movie the other evening called The Tree Of Life by Terrence Malick. This film is the perfect example of what conflicting contradictory messages children learn about life from their parents and how these behaviours impact and mould the pathway for their future. If you tell your child to not put his elbows on the table when eating, yet you are doing this exact behaviour when delivering the message, the child will always question why for you its ok to do but not for them.

If we are to be happy and successful in life we have to learn skills as early as possible, not copy bad behaviour and habits of others. Getting ourselves into massive debt to out do a Christmas you cannot really afford, just because that’s what you have always done, is not passing on truth to your children. If you cannot afford to have a big over the top celebration, don’t feel bad or left out, do something completely new like volunteer to help feed the homeless or old people who are alone. Christmas is not about money, gifts, over indulging, getting pissed, getting into debt, its about having a rest and enjoying time with family and friends, something money can never buy.

When I had everything materially I would always buy my way back into the family fold at Christmas by going over the top with expensive presents. I was always passing through on the way to somewhere hot and exotic so never had the time to give to them. These days as I get older and wiser I understand that money is a means to an end and nothing is more valuable than giving my time. We never know when those we love will not be around anymore so now I am in awe at the mysterious inevitability of loving, and losing those we love.

Free Life Coaching Course Venus Cow

This time last year after a long hard 5 year struggle reinventing myself after such a massive life changing experience, I finally signed off the dole and began the hard climb back up the ladder of success with the help of an angle investor. I knew it would take me a long time to start building my new headhunting firm and make some money again, something I needed to do in order to continue my work giving back. As a social enterprise, my new life as a capitalist with a conscience, I was determined and passionate about helping others discover the secret to finding inner health and happiness without money because when you work at what you love, you never work again.

Living on the dole was extremely hard and very depressing at times because the money you receive on job seekers allowance is only £65 per week, not much but I was always so grateful it was available and learnt how to live a happy life on a very tight budget. Its amazing once you get over the embarrassment of having to beg for food, live like a pauper and have people judge you, just how wonderful some people really are and how much help you can receive if you are brave enough to ask. This is why status anxiety is stopping us all being happy and united in these very difficult times.

This last year has been hard because it takes a long time to rebuild a headhunting firm from scratch but with the support of many businesses who have offered services and help for free, I have been able to create an on-line free to the user, common sense, life coaching course, based on my own experience and insight gained during my own personal journey in poverty. This course is all about you doing some work on yourself by recognising your happiness is not down to the money you have or the  "if only" I won the lottery old chestnut but down to facing some home truths.

Keeping an on-line journal in private to monitor your progress whilst listening to some brutal truth common sense from your own personal life coach, will allow you to learn to change the way you think about the things in your life you don't like or are not happy with, in order to make change. This free life coaching course is my gift back to life because during my most difficult times, I gained massive insight into how to keep positive, face my demons and change my whole way of thinking and feeling in order to become truly happy inside.

I had a near death experience in 2005 which was way more life changing than losing all my money on the stock market crash. I have to say during this time of hanging on to life by a thread, I discovered the power of my own inner strength by facing the fear, the pain and the incredible peace, leaving me a much more balanced, grateful, humble human being.

Venus Cow is there to help you find discover inner strength to change your behaviour, be it drinking too much, smoking, over eating, weight loss, confidence building, forgiveness etc, by working in private on yourself with your own personal life coach and mentor. The truth is brutal and chances are you will never want to face it because that means you will have to change but with change comes happiness, this I can promise you. Start your new life now today by starting the course. What do you have to lose?

Venus Cow is free, its easy and based on just good old common sense.

Get The Chanel Look For Free

According to Alain De Botton we are all suffering from Status Anxiety and I have to agree having been a sufferer myself in the past. We are living in a world where unnecessary snobbery has taken over our desire to seek fulfilment within ourselves, looking outward for approval from others.

I remember when I had too much money and not enough sense, buying three Chanel handbags in one go, just because I could. It made me look rich, feel rich and being a massive snob at the time, I was more excited about being seen with the big black carrier bags, than the actual handbags themselves. Its so sad when I now reflect.

There has been a shift in marketing aspiration to younger and younger customers but even the desire to shut up a whining teenager isn’t enough to keep retailers in business as parents become more and more squeezed.
Could it be the culmination of magazines filled with glossy unrecognisable celebrity images, so much so we need to be told on adverts who we are admiring in the small print, the same faces selling us everything from lipstick to lash lengtheners, TV executives slipping any female talent out the side door the minute they reach a certain age and the seemingly unbreakable glass ceiling feminists have been going on about shattering since the sixties that have caused this collapse of retail trading.

The World has gone mad and if you think for one second what you own, drive, eat, buy, makes you who you are, you’re delusional and extremely misinformed. There is NO mega store anywhere on the planet where you can buy a life or happiness, only stuff to put into a life, so I now teach others to get a life first and stuff later because when you are centred and fulfilled, you find you have everything you need.

It is such a sad state of affairs when people think carrying around a bottle of designer water makes them look like they have a fabulous lifestyle. Tap water in the UK is perfect and we already pay for it anyway, so why not drink it? If you are desperate to be seen drinking designer water and are a big enough mug to pay over the odds for it, why not help save the planet and just fill up your old plastic bottle with tap water because no one will know but you.

A budget lifestyle is all about living within your means and if once you have paid all your bills, you have nothing left for luxury items, you have to get creative and savvy, like I used to. A top tip if you have a big event coming up, like a wedding or party and you are broke but need new make up or to look extra special, get along to the nearest Chanel department in a local shopping mall. You will find in most shopping centres, Chanel concessions, desperate to get you sat in the make up chair for a make up lesson to find out what looks good on you, with the hope you will shop till you drop. Make sure you go on the day of the event so you look amazing for free and walk away with some samples to keep you going. You can always go back later if you feel bad and buy a lipstick when you have saved enough money for a little treat.
I say now days “buy new and the joke is on you” as swapping becomes the new shopping. Get together with friends and family to swap your DVDs, clothes, golf clubs, gardening equipment and anything you don’t use anymore for something you need. Its fun, its clever and it makes great sense when you are short of real cash.

How To Be Happy Without Money

Embarking on a budget lifestyle plan is all about learning how to be happy living within your means and not off high interest credit cards or loans. If you spend your life paying for stuff you cannot afford, just because that’s what is expected of you or because everyone else does it, you will never be rich or happy. You may find the idea of an instant money fix quite a relief when thing are getting you down but if you stop and really think about what impact that quick fix will have on your life in the future, when it comes to paying it back, you will avoid being tempted at all costs.

A pay day loan or a short term high interest loan to help you through a financial crisis can sometimes be the only route, especially for those who need help with medical problems and additional costs. A recent survey for the charity CLIC Sargent found families can struggle to meet the extra cost of accommodation, childcare, food and travel, which is such a sad state of affairs but very real in this current financial mess we all find ourselves in right now.

To be truly happy, you have to take money out of the equation and feed your soul, not your addiction because you may believe you need a new sofa, top of the range TV or luxury 5 star holiday to be somebody but you would be very wrong. Life is about striving for the simple things like good health, inner peace, lots of laughter and not being sucked into the idea, what your own, makes you who you are.

Its all well and good saying this to you because I am sure you all feel trapped and pressured in to participating in keeping up with the Hiltons, the new Jones but you have to grow up and get real. Living beyond your means will only leave you miserable and buried under a mountain of unnecessary debt. There is absolutely no point in having a 100 pair of designer shoes if you never have the money to go anywhere to wear them.

So learning to live within your means may not sound very exciting, be what you want to face right now or be what you have become accustomed to but it is essential if you are ever to find inner happiness. I have had many times myself when I have longed for a new life with all the trappings to go with it but then I remember back to when I thought I had it all and have to remind myself, it was not money or the flash lifestyle that made me truly happy inside.

Here are some simple ways you can begin to learn to live within your means and start to face your reality, which if you are healthy and strong, is a blessing on its own and something we all take for granted, so be grateful, I say.  

Save up for what you want.

Buying unnecessary stuff, like another top you won’t wear or another bottle of wine, you don’t need because you have already had to much, is a great way to save cash for a rainy day. Try and put aside something each week you would normally spend on an instant fix and learn to change your bad habits into good ones.

Stop relying on your credit cards.

Using credit cards to get by, is not living within your means, so never include your credit cards when planning or budgeting your finances because these cards can be stopped or maxed out very easily, without warning.

Learn to spend less than you make.

When we use our credit cards to purchase stuff, we don’t feel like we are actually spending real money because we don’t physically see it changing hands, it’s a virtual exchange. I strongly suggest from now on you only work with real cash when you are learning to live within your means, you will be so shocked at how far your money actually goes when you are in control. Once you know how much you make, then you can focus on bringing you’re spending within your income. Use a budget to plan your monthly expenses then use it to keep your spending on track.

Boost your income.

If once you have done your budget lifestyle plan and you are living within your means but still long for an instant fix, recognise in order to get what you think you want you have to be able to afford it, so get a little second job or find another way to earn extra cash for extra luxuries.

Life is not always about getting what you want but getting what you need.  

How To Be Happy

We all think we are happy when we shop, have a drink, meet a new love interest, finish work on a Friday but can this happiness be sustainable? Happiness comes from knowing yourself well and never lying to your self. We now live in a World where simple pleasure and happiness appears to be missing from our lives and I don't mean having fun by indulging in an instant fix, I am talking about truly being contented with what we have and who we are.

Materialism is toxic for our happiness. As a rich materialist, once upon a time, I was never as happy as those who could not care less about getting and spending, I was always trapped in a lifestyle, stuck on the treadmill of keeping up with the Jones leaving little time to think about anything but myself and my needs.

There are two things that don't cost money that make us happy, one is thinking about what we are grateful for which amplifies our happiness and forgiveness which sets us free from pain and leaves us feeling much lighter. Life has to be more about fun and less about stuff if you want to be truly happy. We have to set ourselves attainable goals and make sure we keep firmly in mind that everything we get in this World, has a price tag and we have to be willing to pay the price, otherwise we are not serious about life, just window shopping.

When I was rich I had everything money can buy but in the currency of blessing, I was bankrupt. I was always trying to impress others, buy them, buy things for them and often I could not tell if they wanted to be with me because I was fantastic or just because I had more money than them. Now days I always try to follow my heart and dream big, even if it means doing something that most people would think was "crazy." I used to get really stressed a lot of the time, always worrying about how I looked, what others thought about me, never really feeding my mind, just my ego.
Exercise, well being, learning to relax and do only the things I enjoy, has helped me become centred in a big way, so nowadays I never let money rule my thinking or my happiness.

The fact is I do have a choice each and every day to do what I want to do. I can either enjoy myself fully or get stressed out and complain about why things aren't different.
Your happiness is all about perspective and attitude.

It's crazy how a simple mind-set switch can completely change everything. You think money is the key to happiness and the answer to your prayers but believe me, if you are spending your life paying back debt, for stuff that did not take you forward you will never be on top. Currently almost half the population are drowning in debt after living it up with a lifestyle they just could not afford in the first place and 3.5 million say they need to take out a loan to pay for Christmas. Pay day loans may be the instant fix in the moment but are crippling long term, as lenders rub their hands with 4000% interest rates and for what? One day?

If you cannot afford to be a sheep any longer, running aimlessly with the flock, keeping up with the Jones, stop stressing out, sit back, relax and do something unique without money, like enjoy the time to rest and recoup. Spending quality time with family and friends is way more important than shopping for stuff you cannot afford and don’t buy into giving gifts, let your gift be laughter, gratitude and forgiveness.

For most it will be hard to change the habit of a lifetime because we only know what we know, until we know something else, so don’t let change become an obstacle when in reality you have no choice but to change.

The thing about obstacles is that they are rarely as big as we make them out to be in our head, so try not to let anything get in the way of reaching your goal to be happy, debt free and healthy.

How To Change The Way You Think

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
Life to me is like a book and we all read it. Happiness is a true blessing and we all need it.

Happiness comes from escaping your denial by learning to smile because we are all here for just a while.

Life is never about fitting in it’s about being your self. The past can reflect who you are today but may not reflect who you are in the future because it’s not always about how long you try but about how hard you try.

If you spend your time around wise people, you will become wise. If you spend your time around people who are rich, you will become rich. If you spend your time around people who are stupid, you will act stupid.
Happiness is never stopping to think you are.
If you take a look deep inside your soul, you will simply find what you need to fill the big black hole.
The only reason to look down on someone is to help them up.
As Gandhi once said “an eye for an eye and we are all blind”.

A budget lifestyle is all about changing the way you think in order to pursue happiness by recognising, material wealth is not the key to reaching your goals. Only true personal happiness poor, will help set you free from tradition, the human condition because when we are financially poor, we have no choice but to look deeper for the meaning to life.

We only know what we know, until we know something else, so if we begin to change the way we look at our life, our life will change. We have to do the work, no instant fix, payday loan, Chanel bag or cream cake will make you happy long term because the more you have, the more you want, and it’s a treadmill.

Once we know something else, we have choices and choices give us options. Ask yourself this question. Would you be happy if you got a call to say you had won the lottery? Now ask yourself this question. Would you still be happy if they rang back and said they had made a mistake and you had not won the lottery? If you believe that money and shopping will bring you instant happiness, you have got it wrong, trust me I know. Of course money is a necessity in this World we live in but it is not the main ingredient we all need to be happy or survive, that comes from giving more than we take. We have to always learn from our mistakes in the past, to help us do better in the present, to succeed in the future.
The biggest mistake we all make is lying to ourselves about who we are and what we want. Its so easy to convince yourself when you are thinking about making personal changes, like going on a diet because you are fat and your health is at risk, to leave it until tomorrow but remember tomorrow never comes, so you will always be fat.

Its time to take back control of your life before its to late and start to get real about what you really desire. You will always think you are happy if you constantly live in the moment, the instant fix but you have to remember whilst ever you are stuck, you are not moving forward.

Why Retail Sales Are Plummeting

A budget lifestyle is all about living happily within your means and not on credit because whilst ever you are in debt, you will never be happy or rich. We have become a society of greedy " I want it now " shopaholics who will do almost anything to keep up with the Jones, continually making unnecessary purchases in the pursuit of happiness and acceptance.

Retail outlets on the High Street are suffering the fall-out from the biggest cost of living squeeze for at least 60 years, which is set to continue until 2012 and beyond and everyone is starting to feel the pinch. The reality is without all our easy access to credit cards, loans, overdrafts and over spending, many of us would not be able to shop till we drop but would actually enjoy a much more simple stress free life. A new sofa should last you at least 10 years and sometimes longer if you really love it and take care of it.

We have all been guilty of thinking if only we had that new sofa, car, handbag, won the lottery, all our troubles would disappear into a puff of smoke and we would all of a sudden be happy, blissful and content but sadly I can tell you for sure, this is just called marketing and brain washing. There is nothing you can buy anywhere on the planet that will guarantee your happiness or success, this comes from working hard on your self, not working yourself to death.

It is clear the health of UK retailing is deteriorating daily, as more people recognise they have to save money right now and when they do decide to spend, they want something that is good quality, serves a purpose and is necessary, in other words buying only what they truly need. Smart shopping is the future if you really want to be happy and fulfilled because nothing you buy as an instant fix, to make you feel better, bigger more important, will ever fill the big empty hole, only you can do that yourself.

When I had more money than sense in my rich life, I would wake up everyday to the luxury that if I desired I could go anywhere in the World, buy anything I felt like and money was never an issue, yet often I would still feel lonely, sad and not very satisfied. The truth was, I had not found happiness before I made all my money and often having everything can isolate you, so I may have had 20 Chanel handbags in my closet but I had no real friends.If Brad Pitt was to buy a new yacht for $50 million, you can bet your life George clooney will pull up next to him in one worth $100 million but the truth is, they can both afford to waste their money on
one-upmanship but can you?

To be happy you have to like yourself, love what you do and have a real purpose in your life. Shopping for pleasure and treats is fantastic but only if you can really afford it and it does not mean you ignore your bills and responsibilities. Stress and worry every month is just not worth a new dress you cannot afford and shopping out of your price range will never make you materially rich, only constantly in debt, back on that snake.

Many will be glad that the stupid era of the credit card - the usual way of paying for stuff for many people is coming to an end, so sit back and enjoy time with your friends and family, assured unnecessary debt won't bring you the happiness you long for, only they will do that in the long run.